Yes, I think I have the best swing on the Tour. Why have scores comedown in the last ten years? Partly because they are imitating me.
I believe in reincarnation. In my last life I was a peasant. Next time around, I'd like to be an eagle. Who hasn't dreamed they could fly? They're a protected species, too.
I love watching Anthony Kim play, but I'm not a fan of the way he grips down a good two inches on his full-swing shots. Choking down lightens the club's swingweight and effectively makes the shaft stiffer.
Only bad golfers are lucky. They're the ones bouncing balls off trees, curbs, turtles and cars. Good golfers have bad luck. When you hit the ball straight, a funny bounce is bound to be unlucky.
The most interesting guy I've ever played with was King Hassan of Morocco. I went over there on a trip in the early 1970s, and the King and I played five holes. I've never been that nervous in my life.
Nobody but you and your caddie care what you do out there, and if your caddie is betting against you, he doesn't care, either.
If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.
How can they beat me? I've been struck by lightning, had two back operations, and been divorced twice.
You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
I never played much golf as a kid. I caddied quite a bit but never got serious into golf until about age 15.
I still sweat. My guts are still grinding out there. Sometimes I have enough cotton in my mouth to knit a sweater.
My divorce came to me as a complete surprise. That's what happens when you haven't been home in eighteen years.